3 funny stories that changed my life
I often share these 3 stories in conversations. There were others as well, but these, these have changed my religion and worldview.
Every once in a while, you may come across a story that has a tremendous impact on your worldview. Being in my late 50s, I have had more than my fair share of life-changing tales. One of these completely changed my religion.
Was it good? I hope so. Anyway, here are 3 stories that stood out the most for me.
Going Straight to Hell
This one Zen story changed my religious perspective completely and is the reason I am no longer catholic. Not in the usual sense at least:
The story is attributed to Hui Neng, the Sixth Patriarch of Chan (Zen) Buddhism in China. It goes something like this:
A monk asked his master (Hui Neng), “What must I do to enter Nirvana?”
The master said. “You must be free of all passions.”
The monk asked, “Oh. Was the Buddha free of all passions?” I suspect he was being cheeky.
The master said: “No. The Buddha had one great passion, and it was to save all sentient beings.”
“So what happened to the Buddha when he died?” the monk asked.
“He went straight to hell,” said the master.
The monk was shocked. “But how can that be?”
The master said: “Because only in hell can he continue to save sentient beings.”
When I first heard this story, it was a revelation. In the story, the Buddha willingly goes to hell to help sentient beings suffering there. Going to hell was not a punishment like in the Christian context. It was a choice.
This story illustrates the compassion of the Buddha, and particularly the bodhisattva ideal, which involves sacrificing one’s own salvation and delaying one’s enlightenment to help others achieve theirs.
“a bodhisattva will not enter Nirvana until the last blade of grass has achieved enlightenment,”
It means that the bodhisattva will delay their own liberation from the cycle of birth and death (samsara) in order to help others achieve enlightenment first.
This is completely at odds with what I have learnt as a Christian. That our Christian goal is to believe, and by believing, achieve salvation. I often struggled with the idea that unless you are a Christian, you cannot be saved. Not even if you are fundamentally a good person. I cannot accept that.
So in Buddhism, a bodhisattva is a person who has made a vow to achieve enlightenment, not just for themselves, but for the benefit of all sentient beings. The bodhisattva path is one of compassion, altruism, and selflessness. It is driven by the desire to relieve the suffering of others.
Isn’t that what Christ did? So how did it become an exclusive club where only believers get to go up, and everyone else goes down?
Hui Neng’s dialogue with the monk emphasises that the essence of Buddhism — compassion and wisdom — is not about achieving personal salvation but about engaging deeply with the world, even in its darkest corners of hell, to ease all sufferings.
Compassion is wanting to save everyone
Wisdom is knowing they are already saved
This I can accept.
Woman cannot achieve enlightenment
I came across this true story some time ago, though I can’t remember the author. I remember listening to the author telling it on the radio as I was driving.
I have written about it in another article.
It went something like this:
The author of the story, a woman and student of a renowned Zen teacher, asked him why there were no women who were Zen masters.
The teacher said, “That’s because women cannot achieve enlightenment.”
Shocked, she said. “What do you mean? I have been studying with you for years and you tell me I cannot achieve enlightenment because I am a woman?”
The master looked up and said. “So, you are woman?”
She said it was at that moment that she achieved enlightenment.
This story also gave me an insight into the workings of Zen Buddhism. Subsequently, I understood the significance of the Zen moment. In Zen Buddhism, there is an idea called Chanji (禅机), roughly translated as Zen Opportunity, or “the opportune moment to break through and achieve enlightenment.”
When the author asked, absentmindedly, about no women being Zen masters, the master identified the Zen moment and effectively shocked her out of her dualistic thinking. Man vs Woman, Good vs Evil, Right vs Wrong. That she saw herself as a woman was the very obstacle that prevented her from awakening.
Duality is an illusion. And the master’s job is to help us see things as they are.
The Lost Bicycle
This last story is rather funny. It may not be a Zen story since I first read it in “One-Minute Wisdom” by Anthony DeMello S.J. But it is told in the spirit of Zen Buddhism.
Here it goes:
A man bought a brand new bicycle and rode it to the market.
He then parked it near the entrance and went about his business.
Since this was the first time he rode to the market, he forgot about his brand new bicycle and went home on the bus when he finished his shopping.
When he reached home, he suddenly remembered that he had ridden his bicycle and had left it at the market. He worried the whole night. He prayed and prayed to God, asking for protection for his bicycle from theft. He couldn’t sleep at all.
The next morning, he took the first bus to the market.
To his surprise, he saw his brand new bicycle exactly where he left it. He was overjoyed.
He then rode to church to give thanks to God.
He parked his bicycle outside, then went inside to say a quick prayer.
When he came out. His bicycle was stolen.
Although not so funny for the poor man, I liked this story because I used to attribute events to God’s doing. I used to think that if something good happened; I have to thank the almighty. And if something bad happened, it is God’s will.
I now think that, if there is indeed a God, he’s far too busy to bother with my affairs. If there is a God, he would be a strange God if, in his infinite wisdom, concern himself with bicycles. This story made me think about what reality may actually be.
It also made me realised I am responsible for my life. For everything that I do, or fail to do.
One-minute wisdom
I will end this brief article with the first lines I read in the book “One-minute Wisdom” by Anthony DeMello S.J.
When asked if one-minute is a bit too short to achieve wisdom, the master said that it is 59 seconds too long.
“Because opening your eyes may take a lifetime,
but seeing is done in an instant.”
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