How to Meditate

This instructional piece is based on my experience as a Jesuit novice and Zen Buddhist student.

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

Here is something practical that you can do in the comfort of your own home.

Meditation sounds simple: sit still, focus on your breath, and find peace. But if you’ve ever tried it, you know how quickly your mind rebels. Thoughts pull you in every direction: memories, worries, plans, distractions. This restless, wandering mind is what Buddhists call the ‘monkey mind.’

In Taming the Monkey Mind, I explored why this happens. Our brains are wired to think, analyse, and anticipate. This is useful for survival, but relentless when we seek stillness. Many assume meditation means stopping all thoughts, but that’s a mistake. The goal is not to silence the monkey mind but to train it, to bring it back to focus, again and again, until it settles.

Meditation is a practice of returning. It’s not about achieving perfect stillness but strengthening the ability to remain present. Over time, the mind stops jumping from thought to thought and learns to rest. If you’re wondering how to begin, that’s what this article is for.

So, you don’t need to travel to an ashram in India or the Kunlun Mountains in China. You can begin exactly where you are, with whatever you have. Right now.

“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.”

Robert M. Pirsig. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Step 1: Start Where You Are

First, forget about achieving stillness. Forget about clearing your mind. Forget about achieving singularity. Meditation is not about forcing silence or anything. It begins with learning to observe. Just being aware.

Find a quiet place. Sit comfortably. You can sit cross-legged on the floor, on a cushion, or in your favourite chair with your feet flat. Keep your back straight but relaxed. Not forcefully stiff, but, as the Tai Chi Master says, imagine a string pulling you gently upward from the crown of your head. Relax, but stay alert.

Then, set a timer. Start with five minutes. If that feels easy, go longer. If that feels impossible, five minutes is exactly where you need to start.

Close your eyes or soften your gaze. I hold my eyes half-closed and gently focus on the floor about a metre before me. You can look anywhere or nowhere. I do find myself dozing off sometimes if I close my eyes. Dim the lights if it helps.

Step 2: Focus on the Breath

Then breathe.

Take a deep breath in, then slowly exhale. Feel the air enter and leave your body. This is your anchor, the sensation of the breath. You don’t have to control it, just observe it. Like a sunset.

Your breath is your anchor. Close your eyes, inhale naturally, and notice the sensation of cool air entering and warm air leaving. Your mind will wander, so that’s normal. The moment you realise you’ve drifted, gently return to the breath.

This is the practice. It is not about staying focused, but returning when you lose focus. Each return is a repetition, like training your biceps.

I visualise my inhaling and exhaling as a thread of silk entering and leaving my nose. It helps me keep my mind focused. I sometimes count my breaths:

One-and-two-and-three-and-four-and
One-and-two-and-three-and-four-and
One-and-two-and-three-and-four-and

Numbers for when I am inhaling, “and” when I am exhaling.

I avoid counting upwards because then I start to feel that higher and higher means I am progressing, and I start to compete with myself. I counted 100 yesterday and 150 today.

The goal is to return.

Step 3: Expect the Mind to Wander

“In zazen (meditation), leave your front door and your back door open. Let thoughts come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.”

Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind

This is also known as Monkey Mind.

Thoughts will arise. Some will be trivial. Some will be profound. Some will be ridiculous. Don’t judge them. Don’t engage with them. Let them pass like clouds drifting across the sky.

Your only job is to notice them and return to your breath. If your mind races the entire session, that’s fine. You showed up, and that’s all that matters

Step 4: Find a Rhythm

Showing up is important. It is more important than achieving enlightenment.

Meditation is not about duration but consistency. Five minutes a day is better than an hour once a week. Once you have set a time, stick to it. Decide to do it when it is most convenient, whether morning, midday, or evening. Link it to an existing habit, like after waking up, before bed, or after making coffee.

Some days will feel effortless, and others frustrating. Sit anyway. It is a practice, not a performance.

Step 5: Expand Your Awareness

Once you’re comfortable focusing on the breath, you can learn to expand your awareness.

Shift your attention to your body’s sensations. Start by noticing any physical tension or discomfort, the warmth of your skin, or the feeling of your clothes against your body. Simply observe without judgment or the urge to change anything. If you feel tension, notice it without trying to fix it. If you feel discomfort, acknowledge it, but continue to breathe deeply.

Let your awareness expand to the sounds around you. Don’t try to identify or interpret them; simply listen. Notice the hum of the environment, the sound of birds in the garden, the neighbour’s dog whining, or even your own breathing. Let these sounds come and go without grasping at them.

As thoughts and emotions arise, don’t try to push them away. Simply notice them. Recognise your emotions if you feel anger, sadness, or joy. Imagine each emotion as a cloud drifting across the sky: visible but not permanent.

“This too shall pass.”

The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Let them pass without attaching to them. If your mind lingers on a thought or emotion, gently bring your focus back to your breath without self-criticism.

The goal is not to feel a certain way or achieve a specific state. Instead, you are building awareness. You are learning to see things as they are without becoming entangled in them. This practice isn’t about controlling the mind but about observing clearly and being present with whatever arises.

Step 5: Keep Going

“Begin. And continue.”

Rev. Laurance Andrew S.J. — My novice master.

Meditation isn’t about achieving perfection or reaching some grand state of mind. It’s about learning to return to the present moment, again and again, no matter how chaotic your mind may be. Some days, the monkey mind will be restless; others will feel calm and clear. Both are natural. The key is to show up, even when it feels difficult.

Real progress isn’t measured by how still your mind is, but by your ability to keep returning to your practice. With time, you’ll notice subtle shifts: a greater ability to focus, a calmer mind, and an increased sense of awareness in your daily life. The monkey mind may never fully disappear, but it will no longer dominate your thoughts or control your actions. And that is a form of freedom.

Beyond the Cushion

Zen Buddhist monks often find less time for formal meditation, or zazen, as they advance in their practice. Their daily duties and responsibilities gradually take up more and more of their time. By this point, however, the goal isn’t to find time to meditate but to bring mindfulness into every moment of the day. The practice becomes part of everything they do, and they are, in essence, always meditating.

If you’re waiting for the perfect moment to start, it will never come. Start now. Start messy. Start with a wandering mind. Just begin. The monkey mind may never fully disappear, but you’ll learn to stop chasing it through consistent practice. Instead, you’ll simply notice it, return to your breath, and continue.

---