Important Days
What are important days? They are days when decisions you make, or events that happen, can change your life forever.
Today is an important day. For my younger son, and my wife.
My son is taking a test that might set him on a specific career path for the next several decades. For my wife, she has a job interview that could also determine when we will both retire from corporate life and travel around the world.
So, I would say it is quite an important day.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
We’ve all had days like this in our lives. Pivotal moments that, looking back, made all the difference to where we are right now. And being close to 60, I have had a few that got me to the good place where I am today.
Of course, I didn’t know then how those decisions would have such life-changing effects on me and my family. I am glad that even some “bad” decisions turned out to have excellent outcomes, eventually.
In this post, I would like to share my thoughts on some of those important days.
Decision to drop out of college
This was a terrible decision.
After my GCE “O” Levels exams, there was a 3-month period where I could attend Junior College for GCE “A” Levels based on the results of the preliminary exams. Or muck around and work at the Singapore Hilton for $2.50 an hour as a waiter.
My preliminary results for “O” levels got me into the Anglo Chinese Junior College (ACJC), which was not popular because it was far from everywhere else. On the first day, I travelled 2 hours, changing buses 3 times, to get there before 7:30am. This was in 1983, before the MRT (train) system.
Important day: I decided to drop out.
I wanted to go to another college nearer to home, the Catholic Junior College (CJC), but I couldn’t get a place. So I muck around for 3 months and when the actual results were out, I could no longer get into college. If I had stayed at the ACJC, I would have had a place because they give a 2-point advantage for those who enrolled during the 3-month break.
So I missed out. I attended a pre-U centre and received my “A” levels certificate, which took an extra year. With 4 younger siblings, we could afford for me to go to university even if I qualified. I never checked or applied.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
It seemed everything went downhill from then on. Over the next decade, I was between jobs mostly or worked for minimal minimum wage in retail. Most companies required a degree just to get an interview. I even tried working for myself as a sole-proprietor but never made enough to support myself.
Then, one day, my younger sister came home with an extra brochure for a part-time university degree course that she was considering.
Important day: I signed up for the degree course.
It was a BSc (Hons) in Business Management from the University of Bradford in the UK. It was a Singapore campus, and more affordable for many. This mode of education eventually became popular because there were not enough places at the local university. My GCE “A” levels results were just enough to get me in.
This was a 3-year course, 3 times a week, in the evening from 7pm to 10pm. Followed by a 90-minute bus ride home. It was tiring. I spent almost all my salary on the course and had to borrow money now and then for school fees. But at least, I felt I was beginning on a different path.
I am grateful that my sister picked up the brochure for me. If she didn’t, it would never have occurred to me that such an option was available, and I would never have left my comfort zone.
And met my wife.
Our courtship
I have always been a socially awkward person, and was just too shy in relationships and finding a partner. I promised myself that I would focus on doing well in my studies and avoid all distractions.
I sat in front of the class on most days and ended up in the study group with my wife-to-be.
Over the first year, we got to know each other well, and I could feel a quiet affection growing. On most days after class, we would walk to the bus stop together. And we would talk.
I looked forward to these short conversations and study groups on weekends.
One Saturday, while we were talking on the phone, she mentioned she was going to watch the movie “Carrington” on her own. On her own?
Important day: I asked if I could join her.
Things moved quickly after that. We were dating without officially dating. Study sessions became more frequent. Within months, we had our first date, and I proposed on our second date. We got married soon after.
I often thought about how life for both of us would be so different if even the smallest thing had changed during that time.
Our lives improved significantly after we moved to our new home. I wrote about that in the article “The secret of The Secret” if you wish to read it.
Although it was easier to find work, I still had difficulty keeping it. Looking back, I was not the easiest person to work with. I was younger and rather cocky. The several companies that I worked with didn’t end well.
Then, I applied for 2 jobs and received 2 offers at the same time.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
Important day: I accepted the job that I shouldn’t.
This was for two very different companies. Both had an opening for an Assistant Marketing Manager.
One was a huge, publicly listed company that many people would love to work for. The Google of the day. The other was a small car dealership, a subsidiary of a large, mostly family-owned company.
I believed the former would definitely be a better choice, but I like the GM from the latter. I asked for a much higher salary from the small company, expecting them to turn me down. I had already received an offer from the other.
When asked why I think I deserve such a high salary, I explained to the GM that it would be a distraction for me unless I get the package that I wanted. To my surprise, he accepted my offer.
Over the next few years, I poured my heart into the job. Eventually, becoming the Deputy GM, I increased sales of new cars from less than 500 units in 2001 to over 3800 units in 2008, at the peak of the global financial crisis.
Working with a family-run business also paid much better than big public companies. With their unusual and very generous bonus structures, we could finish paying off our mortgage much sooner than expected.
Moving to Australia
When we moved to Australia, we had to start all over. Leaving our cushy jobs in Singapore, I started out as a general clerk with a small training firm, making a fraction of what I used to earn. Without Centrelink and Medicare, my wife stayed home to look after our 2 young boys because we couldn’t afford childcare.
It was a truly challenging time.
We always lived near the city, and we had our eyes set on the suburb with the best school when it was time for our boys to go there. But the houses around were expensive then. And we didn’t think we could ever afford it. We had used up most of our savings when we migrated.
When my in-laws visited us from Singapore and we went on a driving holiday, it changed our lives. We have never been to Aldinga, where we now live. We drove past Aldinga on our way back from a holiday in Carrickalinga.
We noticed that “rural Aldinga” wasn’t as rural as we thought. Shopping malls, police station, clinics, even a McDonald’s. We drove by the Aldinga Arts and Eco Village, and did some research on RealEstate.com to see what was available. There was also a junior catholic school within walking distance from the village.
We met a few villagers to understand what it’s like to live here. One couple adopted us and became our Australian family, and the guardian of our children should anything unfortunate happen to my wife and me since we have no family here. It was a delightful place to live.
Important day: We built a house in an Eco Village
Aldinga was rural. Price of houses were also “rural”, and with my little salary, we could buy a small plot for just over $100K. I was 4 years into my job and had moved up a little. It was enough to convince the bank for another $200K to build our house.
We moved into a rental home in the village when we began building our house in mid 2013. We were lucky to find a fabulous local builder to work with: Roberts General Builders. Ours was Nick Robert’s first project working for his dad, David Roberts. It was the start of many projects in the village from our friends and neighbours in the coming years as well.
In 2014, the house was completed. We are now on a fresh path once again.
Important days
Nowadays, I am more aware of important days. In fact, every day is an important day. Every day, there can be opportunities that may change our lives and put us, for better or for worse, on a new trajectory that will make all the difference. Sometimes, something as simple as a brochure or a question can have life-changing consequences.
Where I am today is a consequence of all my decisions, including to drop out of college. It was my decision to act on a university brochure led to my meeting the love of my life and our two wonderful boys. It was choosing one of the two job offers gave me a wonderful career and the financial foundation to migrate to Australia. It was our decision to move to rural Aldinga has paved the way towards financial freedom and early retirement.
I welcome each day as if it is the day that will change all my days in the future. We can never know when a decision will have impacts in the years to come, even bad ones. But I now believe we should take risks, get out of our comfort zones, and decide. We should act.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost -
Most days are important. Let’s make sure that, most of the time, we don’t miss it.
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