Taming the beast within
Turning Male Aggression into a Force for Good
Recently, I watched a documentary on domestic violence, and how it perpetuates in our societies today. In the documentary, the narrator spoke of his step-father abusing him and his mother, and how he felt guilty and helpless about not being able to protect her. This eventually led to his developing an abusive trait that seemed doomed to continue the cycle with his current family and relationships.
It was a moving documentary, and I have thought a lot about it since. What is this within men, particularly men, that can be so destructive in its core? How does a person become abusive? What triggers this aggression into a horrific tsunami of cruelty and destruction?
These men, who can be loving fathers and husbands, can also transform into unrecognisable beasts that destroy lives and create untold sufferings. What is the true nature of this beast that lives in all of us?
The documentary had a good ending. The narrator eventually directed his energy towards service, and helping other men to deal with their beasts within.
I would like to share some of my thoughts here and explore the nature of this ancient problem. Maybe if I am courageous enough, face the beast that lives within all of us, especially men.
Our problem in Australia
According to the 2021–22 Personal Safety Survey (PSS), approximately 3.8 million Australian adults, or 20% of the population, reported experiencing physical and/or sexual violence since the age of 15.
1 in 6 women faced violence from a current or former partner, compared to 1 in 18 men. Emotional abuse is also prevalent, affecting 3.6 million adults (19% of the population), with women experiencing much higher rates than men.
But the impact of domestic violence extends beyond immediate physical harm; it is a leading cause of homelessness among women and children. In the 2021-22 period, over 72,900 individuals sought help from specialist homelessness services because of domestic violence, with a whopping 91% of these are female.
Children are not spared from the effects of domestic violence, either. Around 68% of mothers who experienced violence reported that their children witnessed or heard the abuse. This exposure can have lasting psychological effects on children, contributing to a cycle of violence that can persist across generations.
Indigenous Australians are disproportionately affected, being 32 times more likely to be hospitalised for family violence compared to their non-Indigenous counterparts.
Although I do not think this is unique to Australia, our statistics show the gravity of violence that affects individuals and families here. With police responding to a domestic violence incident approximately every two minutes across Australia, there is a need to understand the nature of this endemic disease and put in place the measures to address this crisis effectively.
But where do we even begin? I think that, maybe, we should begin by understanding male violence, and how its evolution and mismatch have led us to where we are today.
Our inner crisis
Although instances of male violence continue to dominate the headlines, domestic violence is just one aspect of this problem. We hear of the ongoing brutality of wars, genocides, and the devastating consequences of mass shootings and random acts of violence that are often unprovoked and unexplained.
Despite our advances as a civilisation, we cannot escape the shadow of our past. Why is it that men continue to perpetuate violence in a world that increasingly values peace and cooperation? Why does male violence persist? I suspect it is caused by something deeper, something rooted in our evolutionary past.
Male violence is not new. It has followed us through thousands of years—from the earliest tribal societies to the great empires of the past, all the way to our conflicts today.
The Historical Roots of Male Aggression
Throughout history, violence has been a constant. From the battles of ancient tribes fighting for survival to the campaigns of imperial conquest, men have often been at the forefront of conflict.
Wars between rival kingdoms, city-states, and empires have largely been driven by men seeking power, resources, or control over others. Violence, in these contexts, was not seen as inherently negative—it was a means of survival, a tool for asserting dominance and protecting one’s people.
In the Middle Ages, knights were often celebrated for their combat skills and their ability to defend their lands. The Crusades were marked by extreme violence. During the Siege of Jerusalem in 1099, Crusaders brutally massacred tens of thousands of Muslim and Jewish inhabitants, including women and children, all in the name of Christ.
During WW2, Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan murdered millions in the most horrific and inhumane manner. How can anyone commit such atrocities? Such cruelties? With such ease? Even today, it continues in places like Gaza where tens of thousands of women and children are murdered every single day.
The Role of Men in Early Human Societies
I suspect that this male aggression can be traced back to our history and evolution. Consider the roles that men played in early human societies.
In the past, the survival of a tribe often depended on the ability of its men to hunt dangerous animals and protect the group from rival tribes. These roles required physical strength, courage, and, when necessary, ruthless cruelty. Almost like a kind of bloodlust that can be called into action when needed.
These harsh realities demanded that men be willing to fight, kill and die to secure food, land, and safety for their kin.
This role requires an unimaginably intense level of energy to function. There was little room for compassion in fending off an invading horde. Hesitation, fear, or compassion in the face of an enemy could have dire consequences, and lead to the loss of land and resources necessary for survival, or the extermination of one’s tribe.
Men were culturally conditioned to embrace and use violence as a necessary act. I think it is no accident that boys usually love to play with guns and swords. It’s in our DNA.
Like the ancient Spartans, male aggression was highly valued. Spartan boys were trained from a young age to become warriors, with their education focused on physical endurance, combat skills, and emotional stoicism. Spartan culture celebrated strength and aggression, and the ability to fight, kill and endure pain was the pinnacle of masculinity and honour.
The Evolutionary Mismatch
But times have changed. The aggressive tendencies of men, honed over millennia, and essential for the survival of early human societies, are now obsolete. Misplaced.
Modern society, with its laws, diplomacy, and advanced technologies, no longer requires the constant threat of violence to maintain order. The aggressive instincts that once served a vital purpose are now out of place. In fact, it has become a problem.
In today’s warfare, aggression has become impersonal and distant. Drone strikes and missile launches allow soldiers to kill without ever looking into the eyes of their enemies. Technological advancements of war have neutralised the raw aggression once necessary in battle.
But the nature of this aggressive energy is still there, simmering quietly beneath the calm surface. We have put in place an extensive “fence” to keep the beast under control: social norms, religion, laws, and punishments. We think we have successfully suppressed it.
The Danger of Suppressed Aggression
This energy, deeply rooted in our past, remains a part of the male psyche. The problem is when society tries to ignore it and provides few or no outlets for this energy to be expressed constructively.
Without healthy ways to express their aggression, some men are forced to suppress these feelings. Seen as unacceptable and uncivilised, this suppression can lead to a build-up of emotional tension and frustration, which may eventually manifest in explosive and dangerous ways.
We see this in the increasing rates of domestic violence, bar fights, and even mass shootings—situations where suppressed aggression erupts uncontrollably.
When the Fence comes down
While social norms act as “fences” that keep male aggression in check, sometimes these collapse. For some men, the aggressive energy that has been suppressed can suddenly break free when these barriers weaken. This can happen during moments of extreme stress, personal crisis, or when societal structures falter—during war, civil unrest, or even major life disruptions like job loss or divorce.
When these fences come down, the result can be catastrophic. Suppressed aggression, when unleashed, often erupts with a force far greater than if it had been expressed in smaller, manageable ways. This sudden release of pent-up energy can take many forms—domestic violence, road rage, verbal outbursts, or even more extreme acts like physical violence, self-harm or suicide.
But what leads to the collapse of these safe-guards? Are there signs to tell us when someone is approaching the breaking point?
There are signs. And understanding the warnings is critical, not only for the individual experiencing the build-up but also for their loved ones and community. By recognising the early indicators, we can put in place measures to address these before they escalate into violence or irreparable damage.
The Signs of Impending Collapse
Although not an exhaustive list, these can manifest in different ways depending on the individual, but there are some common patterns that show when a person is nearing breaking point.
Heightened Irritability and Short Temper
One of the earliest and most noticeable signs of suppressed aggression is increased irritability. What begins as nagging could turn into physical abuse if left unchecked. Men struggling to keep their aggression under control may become angry at small, seemingly insignificant triggers. They may lash out verbally or emotionally, especially in situations where they would normally remain calm.
This heightened irritability can be a sign that the emotional pressure is building. When the individual lacks an outlet for their frustration, it can leak out in bursts of anger, resentment, or annoyance, often directed at those closest to them.
Withdrawal and Emotional Numbness
While aggression may manifest outwardly through irritability, it can also turn inward. This is a more dangerous sign of build up aggression. Some men may withdraw emotionally, distancing themselves from others to maintain control over their feelings. This emotional numbness is a defence mechanism—a way to avoid confronting the aggressive impulses bubbling under the surface.
However, emotional withdrawal can sometimes make things worse. When men cut themselves off emotionally, they may feel increasingly isolated and misunderstood. Paranoia sets in. This begins a downward spiral and can intensify their feelings of frustration and helplessness, which may lead to an eventual outburst or breakdown.
Substance Abuse
Substance abuse—whether through alcohol, drugs, gambling, or other forms of addiction—can often be a sign that an individual is struggling to manage their suppressed emotions, especially aggression. For many men, addiction becomes a way to dull the emotional and psychological pressure they feel but cannot release. Unfortunately, substance abuse often exacerbates the underlying aggression rather than resolving it, leading to poor decision-making, reckless behaviour, and violent outbursts.
Substance abuse is a temporary “escape” from the feelings of frustration and rage, and once the individual is no longer under the influence, the suppressed aggression returns stronger. This creates a dangerous cycle, where the individual relies more and more on substances to cope, further weakening the constraints that keep their aggression in check.
Physical Tension and Health Problems
Suppressed aggression sometimes takes a physical toll on the body. Men who struggle to manage their aggressive impulses may experience chronic physical tension, muscle tightness, or even frequent headaches or digestive issues. This tension is the body’s way of storing the unexpressed energy, leading to health problems that can affect the individual’s emotions.
Over time, this physical discomfort can contribute to feelings of fatigue, frustration, and even depression. The more the body and mind are pushed to hold the energy in, the more likely that the individual will eventually “snap,” releasing the stored tension in a harmful and unpredictable way.
Increased Risk-Taking and Recklessness
As the suppressed energy builds up, some men may engage in risky or reckless behaviour. From dangerous driving to engaging in physically risky activities like crimes or fights. The thrill of risk-taking provides temporary release, but it is not a sustainable outlet.
Reckless behaviour often serves as a red flag that the individual is struggling to keep their aggressive impulses under control. Without proper intervention, this kind of risk-taking can lead to accidents, injuries, or violent confrontations.
Countermeasures to Prevent the Collapse
Recognising these warnings is important for individuals and society. By understanding when the fences are weakening, we can build countermeasures to prevent a complete collapse. The goal is to direct the aggressive energy in healthy, productive ways that allow for the release of emotional and physical tension before it escalates into destructive behaviour.
Encourage Emotional Expression
One of the most important ways to prevent the collapse of these fences is encouraging men to express their emotions in a healthy way. This means creating safe spaces for men to talk about their frustrations, anger, and even their fears.
It is unfortunate that traditionally, in toughening up the male psyche, emotional expression is weakness. This was necessary in the past when coming face to face with a sabre-tooth tiger, but there are now no tigers to help release the pent up energy.
Allowing men to express their emotions helps to reduce the internal pressure that builds when aggression is suppressed. Rather than waiting for a breakdown, men can learn to talk about their feelings incrementally, diffusing the aggressive energy before it becomes overwhelming.
Promote Physical Outlets
Physical activity is one of the most effective ways to release suppressed aggression in a controlled manner. Engaging in regular exercise, particularly high-intensity activities like weightlifting, running, or martial arts, can provide a safe outlet for aggressive energy. These activities allow men to channel their physical tension into something constructive, reducing the likelihood of an outburst.
Sports also offer the added benefit of providing structure, discipline, and teamwork, helping men to regulate their emotions while fostering a sense of community and purpose.
Address Underlying Emotional and Mental Health Issues
Suppression of aggression is often tied to deeper emotional or psychological struggles, such as anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma. Addressing these issues directly, through therapy or counselling, can help men understand the root causes of their aggression and develop strategies to manage it more effectively.
Therapists and counsellors trained in male mental health can help men explore their emotions, break down societal expectations around masculinity, and develop healthier ways to cope with frustration, anger, and stress. Mental health interventions provide long-term solutions by addressing the emotional foundation of suppressed aggression.
Strengthen Social Support Systems
Building a strong support network is essential for preventing the collapse of emotional fences. When men feel supported by friends, family, or community groups, they are more likely to express their feelings and seek help when they need it. This prevents the isolation and withdrawal that often precede an emotional or physical outburst.
Encouraging men to maintain strong social connections and be part of supportive communities can provide them with the emotional safety net they need to manage their aggression before it spirals out of control.
Awareness is the First Step
Understanding the “fences down” phenomenon from an individual perspective allows us to recognise the signs of suppressed aggression before it becomes destructive. While aggression is a natural part of human nature, it requires careful management, not suppression. By being aware of the warning signs, we can help prevent the explosive consequences of aggression going terribly wrong.
An Understanding of Aggression
Aggression, when properly managed and directed, can be a force for good. It is not inherently negative, but a neutral energy that can be shaped by the individual. In times of crisis, aggression can be channelled into courage, leadership, and decisive action.
As a society, we recognise that male aggression, while often destructive in its uncontrolled form, is a fundamental part of human evolution. Rather than trying to suppress or eliminate it, we should harness and direct this energy toward positive ends.
While we live in a relatively peaceful time, there will always be threats—whether from tyrants, oppressive regimes, or other malevolent forces—that require defence and assertive action. In such moments, the ability to “call forth the beast”, and harness aggression, will be crucial to protecting our freedoms and way of life.
Call for Action
The challenge today lies in redefining masculinity so that men can embrace their primal energy without resorting to violence. We must encourage men to channel their aggression into service and the good of society, like he once did when his tribe was in danger. We must learn to ensure that this energy is once again used to protect, nurture, and build rather than to destroy.
By acknowledging and managing male aggression, we can prevent its destructive outbursts and create a society where men’s strength and assertiveness serve the greater good. When harnessed for the right purposes, the “beast” can be a powerful tool for defending society and ensuring a brighter future for all.
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