It is about this book, The Secret. I was extremely sceptical of the idea that if you think it, it will manifest. There is no scientific evidence of the “Universe” conspiring to fulfil my every wish, or a genie-god granting gifts simply because I want them. There is just no such thing! Success is the product of hard work and maybe luck.
Not really.
Looking back, I missed an important lesson about the Law of Attraction, and how I have used it all my life without realising it.
But The Secret is not what I thought it was.
I first came across The Secret in its video format: a business associate and friend who made his fortune in the used-car business gave it to me. I often asked him about his success, and he spoke passionately about how he struggled in his youth in the early 80s. How, with only a secondary school education, he built one of the largest, most successful car dealerships in Singapore. He said that his life changed when he changed the way he thinks.
In The Secret, it said:
The law of attraction simply gives you whatever it is you are thinking about.
“Come on! This is “witchcraft” marketing to sell books and videos. How can it possibly be real?”
I put it aside and thought I had stopped thinking about it. But the law of attraction was already at work.
In retrospect, I see how often I may have unconsciously used this law to achieve my goals. I do not think these appeared out of nowhere. I have a simpler explanation. But first, let me share some “manifestations” from my past.
The Kung Fu Manual
This is childish, silly, but true. And a little creepy.
Growing up, I was fond of Kung Fu movies and TV dramas. I often imagined myself as a Kung Fu expert, fending off bullies in my neighbourhood and school.
When I was 13, I watched a TV drama called “Young Wong Fei Hung”. In one episode, the hero found a secret manual (工字伏虎拳), a kind of Tiger-style Kung Fu, which he eventually learned and used to defeat the villain. I thought that if I could get a hold of a copy, I could learn and fight like him.
Wouldn’t it be nice…
About 2 months later, I found a used copy in a second-hand bookshop at Bras Basah Complex. It was $5.90.
Buying our dream flat
When my wife and I got married, the first thing we did was apply for a new government flat in Punggol, Singapore.
But we would have loved to live in the beautiful estate next to the Sembawang River. We passed it often on our way home. The buildings were unique, and we loved the roof gardens. It was impossible because all units were sold years ago.
Wouldn’t it be nice…
About a year later, we received a letter from the government asking whether we would like to consider some units that had become available after buyers pulled out. There were 3 units from Sembawang, and 1 unit next to the river. We would go on a queue, and if we didn’t get it, we could then return to the usual waiting list for Punggol.
We came up № 1 in the queue. And we picked our “impossible” dream flat overlooking the river.
Migrating to Australia
When we fell in love with Australia in 2001, we wanted to migrate here. After our first trip, my wife and I did some research, and we compiled a list of conditions to make the move. One of the biggest obstacles was a deposit of AUD$100,000 in Australian government bonds. That was when the Australian dollar was much stronger than the Singapore dollar. This was to show that we have the funds to support ourselves if a visa is granted.
We were both new in our careers, with a mortgage and renovation debt. We could not imagine how we could raise the funds to do this. We wrote a 5-year timeline for our migration goal. We couldn’t see how it was possible.
But wouldn’t it be nice…
In January 2009, we received news from our migration agent that our application was successful, and we arrived in Australia on 15 May 2009. It came a bit late, but it came.
Owning our home in Australia
We started off renting when we first migrated. After months of job hunting, I found work as a clerk. My pay was barely enough to cover rent and groceries. We had two very young children, and we often had to search for loose change around the house before Thursday’s payday. We thought life would be a struggle in the coming years.
We talked about buying our forever home one day. The price of a 2-bedroom house where we lived was beyond our means. We said we should rent to avoid taking on a huge mortgage, especially given how uncertain things are.
But wouldn’t it be nice…
On a drive in December 2012, we discovered a nice little suburb in the South. It was an eco village. A quick search showed that prices here were more affordable. My wife got in touch with a few villagers, and by the end of January 2013, we had bought a plot. We now live in our 3-bedroom home in one of the most beautiful places in Australia.
I am now considering a small portfolio of investment properties to generate passive income when I retire.
Wouldn’t it be nice…
You become what you think about most,
but you also attract what you think about most.
There is no secret
In the book, writer Rhonda Byrne said that positive energy attracts positive things. By thinking positive thoughts, individuals can manifest desired outcomes.
This is similar to Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. His other book, “Positive Thinking,” also addressed staying focused on goals and turning problems into opportunities.
My personal take on this is that thoughts change behaviour. I do not subscribe to the mystical universe or to a personal genie-in-a-bottle explanation for the good things that happened in my life.
I think it results from a much more common thing called the “Yellow Car” phenomenon.
The “Yellow Car” phenomenon
This is also known as selective attention. When you are thinking of something, like buying a yellow car, your brain becomes more attuned to noticing “yellow cars” around you. It’s not that there are suddenly more yellow cars on the road; rather, your perception has shifted to focus on them.
If you want to change anything in your life, change the channel
and change the frequency by changing your thoughts.
This, I believe, is how our attention shapes our reality. This is the Law of Attraction, and the secret of Positive Thinking.
In all the situations that I shared, and there were more, I have thought about what I wanted frequently and intensely. I have often written about it or written it down. I tuned in to knowledge that can help me or attract people into my circle who are sympathetic to my goals. Suggestions, advice, and help appeared.
All these actions also changed my behaviour, often in small ways. I notice things I wouldn’t otherwise. Improve my attitude at work, put in more hours, or become more agreeable. I do things that I previously didn’t do. My diet changes. My habits change. I change.
Positive thinking is simply moving from “I can’t do this” to “How can I do this?”
And given enough time, the pieces of what I desire start to fall into place.
Final thoughts
Looking back, I realised that, as an optimist, I tend to see the bright side of things. When I am overly pessimistic, unhappy things happen. Because there is Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” If I keep thinking about the downside, it also usually happens. It works both ways.
The Law of Attraction is not magic or divine grace. It is just psychology.
So I now practise mindfulness often. I am careful with my thoughts. I look out for how things could go right. I write my goals on paper and put them where I can see them. I remind myself that no matter how bad things may appear, it will get better. I am positive.
I am optimistic. And I manifest.